No Control

I can't control myself anymore !
I'm trying to sort out things in my mind.
I don't want to look at you dying but I have to.
It's best for both of us.
I close my eyes and lock myself in this solution, the best one.
I can't go back, I mustn't go back 'cause too much harm has been done.
Evil deeply buried and settled in my heart within the years.
I've got no scruples.

I can read growing fear in the white of your eyes.
You're terrorized by what I'm about to do,
But you won't be for long now, when your heart will stop beating and your last breath will reverberate in this
quiet room.
A short and vive prelude, which seems to last hours …
It's only a question of seconds !
When I'll see you falling and strewing over like a dead animal, killed without any pity.
I know that whole would be left is to relief myself one more time.
I can't stand this agony and unfair world.
I want to relief myself from all of that.
I must stop the way I am and I live and finally find the absolute freedom !
Finally be free and not trapped by this unwell being that has been following me for so long and doesn't stop
killing me physically and mentally.
I've got no way to escape, I've waited in vain for too long.
Lets just put an end to it all !