The Hearse Song

Don't ever laugh as a hearse goes by
For you may be the next to die

They wrap you up in a big white sheet
From your head down to your feet
They put you in a big black box
And cover you up with dirt and rocks
And all goes well for about a week
And then your coffin begins to leak

And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
The worms play pinochle on your snout
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose
They eat the jelly between your toes

A big green worm with rolling eyes
Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes
Your stomach turns a slimy green
And pus pours out like whipping cream
You spread it on a slice of bread
And that's what you eat when you are dead

And the worms crawl out, the worms crawl in
The worms that crawl in are lean and thin
The ones that crawl out are fat and stout
Your eyes fall in and your hair falls out
Your brain comes tumbling down your snout

And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
They crawl all over your dirty snout
Your chest caves in, your eyes pop out
And your brain turns to sauerkraut

They invite their friends and their friends too
They all come down to chew on you

And this is what it is to die
I hope you had a nice goodbye
Did you ever think as a hearse goes by
That you may be the next to die?
And your eyes fall out, and your teeth decay
And that is the end of a perfect day