Left Behind

Don't take me back to the old version of me
When I didn't even give a single fuck
About anyone or anything
And it's no wonder I'm still so fucking lonely
After all the years I spent with this dread
Destroyed by these thoughts in my head

When will I manage to push away
All those who cared for me
Just a slave to my hypocrisy

It's like I'm stuck
Held down by my own ways
Remembering all the pain
That I've been forced to put on display
And maybe it's just too much
A fear I no longer can ignore
I just thought there would be more

But just know
It terrifies me deep inside my bones
Because this lonely life
Is the hardest truth I have ever known
So medicate, alleviate
I can't escape from the shadow I've become
Because this crushing weight upon my shoulders
Has left me undone

And I swear that I just want to be better
But sometimes everything spirals out of control
And it's just something
I've never once believed in
Giving up a part of my fucking soul

I never said that I was perfect
But I've been convinced
That I am just worthless
What have I become?

And all these passing lights
Keep trying to guide me home
But all I can see is loss
It's all I've ever known

But just know
It terrifies me deep inside my bones
Because this lonely life
Is the hardest truth I have ever known
So medicate, alleviate
I can't escape from the shadow I've become
Because this crushing weight upon my shoulders
Has left me undone

It's like I'm stuck
Held down by my own ways
Left behind
Nothing left to save of me