Everything But Everything

Woke up from a nightmare and tried to go back to sleep.
These days
It's not the nightmares that are killing me,
It's what comes next.
At least in nightmares,
I know what I'm running from.
And I'm scared,
But fear seems better than the truth.
These days, my dreams are all
That's real...
It's my life that's all just make believe.
And I know
How it ends,
But I can't help but watch.
So caught up, I'm breaking down.
It's getting harder to pretend I care where I land.
I want to feel,
I'm just scared of what that means.
I remember when I could
Smile without feeling like such a liar,
I just wish I would have
Wrote it down.
you ask if there's an end in sight...
I wish I had an answer.
You should have asked me back when I was young.
Because I've had everything,
And all I want is more.
When you're sick of standing,
You just fall.