Bruce

A single slice
Or even two, Bruce
Might have been nice
But even you, Bruce
Have to admit
Between you and it
There's not a lot of difference in size

He can't, he can!
He surely can't!
He surely can't!
You are the man, Bruce!
He might explode!
He's quite elastic
He’s going to blow! Make him stop!
He’s fantastic, look at him go!
I can’t watch!

I think in effect
This must confirm, Bruce
What we all suspected
You have a worm, Bruce
Or maybe a largeness
Is a bit like the Tardis
Considerably roomier inside

He can't! He can!
He surely can't!
He surely can't!
You are the man, Bruce!
B-R-O-O-C-E

Bruce!

You'll never again be subject to abuse
For your immense caboose
She'll call a truce, Bruce
With every swallow you are tightening the noose
We never thought it was possible
But here it is coming true
We can have our cake and eat it too

The time has come
To put that tumbly tum to use
No excuse, Bruce
Let out your belt
I think you'll want your trousers loose

Ooooh, stuff it in! (Bruce!)
You've almost finished (Bruce!)
You'll fit it in
Whatever you do just don't give in (Bruce!)
Don't let her win!

Come on, Bruce, be our hero
Cover yourself in chocolate glory
Bruce!
You'll never again be subject to abuse
For your immense caboose
She'll call a truce, Bruce
Just one more bite and you'll have completely cooked 'er goose

We never thought it was possible
But here it is coming true
We can have our cake and eat it

Go on, Brucie!