Hippocratic Oaf

I've decided my brother has asperger's syndrome
I've decided that's what's the matter with him
He doesn't mean to be so very mean to me
It's just that it runs, it runs in the family

He's high functioning autistic
That's how come he's such a big prick
I used to care
I fretted and fretted
But it's okay
Cuz now I get it

Lying awake
I toss and turn and lose lots of sleep
It caused me concern
Wondering why you're all such creeps
But it must feel real lame
To let others down constantly
But you're not to blame
It's not your fault
It's your pathology

I have got my own diagnosis
For every tick, quirk or neurosis
If you're wondering just what's your damage
Come ask me
Cuz I've got the answers!

I've decided she's got an axis 2 disorder
That's how come she's such a big whore
She doesn't mean to be a C-U-Next Tuesday
It's just that she un, she's unbalanced mentality
Oh yeah sure, she stole my car
But she didn't get all that far
Now I know why she was a crap friend
It's all here
In my DSM

Lying awake
I toss and turn and lose lots of sleep
It caused me concern
Wondering why you're all such creeps
But it must feel real lame
To let others down constantly
But you're not to blame
It's not your fault
It's your pathology

I have got my own diagnosis
For every tick, quirk or neurosis
If you're wondering just what's your damage
Come ask me
Cuz I've got the answers!

I've decided your ex has adult ADD
That's how come he can't commit fully
He doesn't mean to lie and to equivocate
It's just that he can't, he can't seem to concentrate
He can't manage his time or get organized
That's how come he tells so many lies
I used to worry
that he was always so tense
But it's okay
cuz it all makes sense

Lying awake
I toss and turn and lose lots of sleep
It caused me concern
Wondering why you're all such creeps
But it must feel real lame
To let others down constantly
But you're not to blame
It's not your fault
It's your pathology

I have got my own diagnosis
For every tick, quirk or neurosis
If you're wondering just what's your damage
Come ask me
Cuz I've got the answers!