Honesty

The summer of 2003, after the mania ending
The depression, like, I tried to do, I mean, I was still in school
But I tried to do some part-time work, and, it wasn't happening
It was too, overwhelming

'Cause that's one of the major things
With depression that I've experienced
It's just this really crippling sense of being overwhelmed
By things that aren't even my responsibility

Like, I remember driving with my mom places
And we'd be going to the grocery store or something
And we'd drive by a construction site
And suddenly I would just feel crushed by the
The thought of having to go to this construction site!

It's like, why? It's not even my responsibility
And so, actually having any responsibility was out of the question
So that summer, for sure, I could not work
But after the hospitalization, following the suicide attempt
From that point forward, I've been able to work pretty consistently

But the upside of being very upfront with my
My bosses and my supervisors has been that, I mean
'Cause there have been times where I've had to say
'Hey, I need to manage, like, some hypomania

So, I'm gonna take this day off because
I have to take this medication
And because of this medication
I won't be able to work this day

Um, so you know, kind of like
Managing any other medical issue; do this and that
With depression, a lot of times I'll tell my employers
I'm having a tough time right now
It doesn't usually impair my ability to work
But it affects me and I have to be honest with them
About what's going on