This Cold Funeral

As i watch the darkest pages of what seems
To be the so-called diary of my mind's reflections
The only relief is i'm turning breathless
To walk by the seashore of self-rejection

This cold funeral - revel inside
My cold funeral - vanishing light

Sudden loss of something i never owned
But still consider it as one of my personal belongings
Obliged to welcome the strange guest i've always disliked
In this feast of illusions

This cold funeral - revel inside
My cold funeral - vanishing light
Conceive the ending
Conceive the potential of nothingness

Everything's said and everything's wasted
It's like a virus, can you feel this?
Everything's been incinerated
It's something absent, you can't kill this
Everything tastes like desparate dreaming
You're left outside a frame that's bleeding
Everything's more than anything counted
You're shallow inside to conceive it

Finally i understand the poem which seemed to me weird

Everything's said and wasted and everything's wasted
It's like a virus, can you feel this?
Everything's been incinerated
It's something absent, you can't kill this

It's like a virus, it's something abscent
You're shallow inside to conceive it