Mary's Letter

In my restless dreams
I see that town
Silent Hill
You promised you'd take me
There again someday
But you never did

Well I'm alone there now
In our special place
Waiting for you

Waiting for you to
Come to see me
But you never do
And so I wait, wrapped in my
Cocoon of pain and loneliness
I know I've done a terrible
Thing to you. Something you'll
Never forgive me for

I wish I could change
That, but I can't
I feel so pathetic and ugly
Laying here, waiting for you
Every day I stare up at the cracks
In the ceiling and all I can think
About is how unfair it all is

The doctor came today
He told me I could go
Home for a short stay
It's not that I'm getting better
It's just that this may be
My last chance

I think you know what I mean

Even so, I'm glad to be coming
Home. I've missed you terribly
But I'm afraid James
I'm afraid you don't really
Want me to come home
Whenever you come see me
I can tell how hard it is on you

I don't know if you
Hate me or pity me
Or maybe I just disgust you

I'm sorry about that

When I first learned that
I was going to die, I just
Didn't want to accept it
I was so angry all the time and I
Struck out at everyone I loved most
Especially you, James

That's why I understand
If you do hate me

But I want you to
Know this, James

I'll always love you

Even though our life together had
To end like this, I still wouldn't
Trade it for the world. We had
Some wonderful years together

Well this letter had gone on
Too long so I'll say goodbye
I told the nurse to give
This to you after I'm gone
That means that as you read
This, I'm already dead

I can't tell you to remember me
But I can't bear for you to
Forget me

These last few years since I
Became ill, I'm so sorry for
What I did to you, did to us
You've given me so much and
I haven't been able to return
A single thing

That's why I want you to live for yourself now
Do what's best for you, James

James

You made me happy