The Ballad Of One-tooth Mcguyver

You’ll be hunted to the end of the earth by a lady of noble descent
There will be no pleading as she stops you believing
In good old mother hope, now your sanity is shed.
They call her promiscuous, I call her a vicious bitch
With a gun and a blade
She’ll rip out your guts, with insatiable lust
Like a great succubus
That puts harborous sally to shame.

And the liver fell out. He was hit by a broadside,
That shattered his jaw
Nothing mattered any more.
He wished that his shame he could hide
With his nuptials denied
And his coin purse cut open, his heart cast aside
Hail! Ho!
It’s one-tooth mcguyver
She’ll take on the crew, for only a fiver
But don’t turn your back, there’s fire inside her

The attacks did not stop, they only intensified
To the point of hysteria
Mcguyver was named
As the woman that gave you that cheese wire grin
Again, and again and again and again
And the tongue it fell out. He was hit by a blindside
That dislodged his eye
'Twas a matter of time
Till she ended his life with a thrust of a knife

To the gut of the bastard that stole what was rightfully hers
Her title, her deeds
A bequest from her father, a secret marauder, a man of the sea
A pirate who taught her the tools of the trade
And with this all her enemies were slain
I adore her, one-tooth mcguyver
A woman of guile. I will stand beside her
But don’t let your heart think that her faith is desire

She moves closer through the dockside
With that glint within her eye
Try your luck or trust your gut, it’s carnal lust or time to die
You’ll be hunted to the end of the earth by a lady of noble descent
She’ll rip out your guts, with insatiable lust
Like a great succubus
And leave you to bleed out your anguished last breath

And your heart will break down as you lust for your war bride
She’ll shatter your soul, as her cutlass strikes bone
You’ll wish that your shame you could hide
With your heart rent asunder, traded for plunder, her brutal revenge
Yes revenge, that’s all she has now, and still every man wants her!
Every man will risk!
Every man will die!