ビバリウム (Vivarium) (English Version)

How many days have passed by me without a single notice?
Even after all those years, my voice breaks, leaving words unspoken
The mirror shows a version of myself that's out of focus
Still, I try with clumsy fingertips, to find the me that's out of reach

The sharpened words leaving their mouth repeatedly, they're shunning me
That's just the way it is, I know I never meant to fit in anyway
Along the red staining my mind, I hear their voices saying
Is a defect something special? If yes, I have never mattered after all

While running to the future, it seems I let my past decay
And every single thing I loved, I've broken apart
Regret starts overwhelming me, I cannot catch my breath
So frantically, I peel myself until there's nothing left

My wounds accumulate, I don't know how to care for them
Mistakes I've made piling up without me knowing to repent
Is this how I will grow up?

Stuck inside this dim vivarium
I kept on dreaming, searching, shouting to reach the ideal me
Far away, the bright reflecting light
Feel it calling for me, reaching inside

Before I knew, the solitude had wrapped itself around me
In my room filled to the brim, illusions swirling closer, forming a sea
Please tell me why no matter what, the tears keep overflowing?
As I bite my worn down fingertips, the taste of iron spreading around

I hear them in my head, these voices from me and others
Repeating, repeating, why were you even born at all?
Why can't you do anything? Why don't you know anything?
I don't know, I don't know, I really don't know
I have no idea what the 'right' thing is at all
And before I knew it, I was an adult

You didn't believe in anything
You didn't believe in anyone
All you really needed before you got here
Was just a simple 'it's okay'
I'm sorry I let you lose your safe place
So you know, it's okay if you never come out again

Deep within the bustling city, inside that bright light
I heard the song of a mechanical girl
I really, want to go there too

Stuck inside this dim vivarium
I kept on dreaming, searching, shouting to reach the ideal me
Don't drift too far, don't leave me here alone
I don't want to lose you, you don't have to change for me

In my own vivarium
I'll keep on reaching, clinging, fighting, no matter how lost I get
Staring into the bright reflecting light
The future I envisioned, deep in your eyes

I can't say goodbye yet to who I was
I still have to sing
Until it reaches daybreak, I know that I'm not here alone
Because the you that's hiding in the dark is crying on