Kicking Myself When I'm Down

It's autopilot daily
It's getting routine
I crack a smile for them
But not for me
I think that I'm more fucked up

Than I let on
Take off the seatbelt
To meet this head-on
To meet this head-on

Will I keep kicking myself when I'm down?
I'm holding me under,
I struggle while I drown
How many times that I've screamed out my vocal cords
Just to look around and
To find out that I'm alone
Despite how far-gone I feel like I am
Something's buried deep within me
Something's buried deep within me

Well I'm a rookie pessimist
Still looking for a place to rest
And it's more than I just don't fit in
It's hard to see when you're sixty feet high (??)
I have a choice not to hurt like this
I can pick myself up, wipe the blood from my lips
But sometimes I just don't wanna win
Sometimes I just don't wanna win

Sometimes I just wanna keep kicking myself when I'm down
I'm holding me under,
I struggle while I drown
How many times that I've screamed out my vocal cords
Just to look around and
To find out that I'm alone
Despite how far-gone I feel like I am
Something's buried deep within me

That knows how to stand
When things get fucking crazy
If it's all that I have
I will turn this broken kid
Into a broken man
It's hard to let go of the shit

That's holding you back
That's holding you back
That's holding you back
That's holding you back
That's holding you back

Will I keep kicking myself when I'm down?
I'm holding me under,
I struggle while I drown
How many times that I've screamed out my vocal cords
Just to look around and
To find out that I'm alone
Despite how far-gone I feel like I am
Something's buried deep within me

That knows how to stand
When things get fucking crazy
If it's all that I have
I will turn this broken kid
Into a broken man
It's hard to let go of the shit
That's holding you back
That's holding you back
Need to let go of what's holding you back
You need to let go of what holds you back