Every Day Is Ladies' Day With Me

I should like, without undue reiteration of the ego
To explain, how very hard I find it is to make my pay go
'Round among my vulgar creditors I'm fearfully in debt
For I always have afforded anything that I could get!
But I must say I've enjoyed the best of what there is in life
I've been lucky in my love affairs I've never had a wife!
I can summon little int'rest in the dry affairs of state
And the bus'nessmen who call on me are coldly left to wait!

For every day is ladies' day with me
I'm quite at their disposal all the while!
And my pleasure it is double if they come to me in trouble
For I always find a way to make them smile, the little darlings!
I've no doubt I should have married long ago!
It's the proper thing to do you'll all agree!
But I never could find any fun in wasting all my time on one
So ev'ry day is ladies' day with me

It's a frightfull thing to think of all the hearts that I have broken
Altho' each one fell in love with me without the slightest token
That my fatal gift of beauty had inflamed her little heart
But I found that some small favor always seemed to ease the smart
A position for a cousin or a loan to dear papa
Just a dainty diamond necklace or a pretty motor car
But I don't begrudge the collarets and necklaces or pearls
All the money that I ever saved is what Iv'e spent on girls!

For every day is ladies' day with me
I'm quite at their disposal all the while!
And my pleasure it is double if they come to me in trouble
For I always find a way to make them smile, the little darlings!
I've no doubt I should have married long ago!
It's the proper thing to do you'll all agree!
But I never could find any fun in wasting all my time on one
So ev'ry day is ladies' day with me