Asshole Song

If I was closer to you
I would stay in your dorm room
I would beg you to lay in bed with me all day
If I was closer to you
I would take you to the movies
Hold your hand and tell you sweet things
Call you baby
And if I wasn't such an asshole
I would answer all your phone calls
I'd reply to all your letters and tell you how much you really mean

Baby, I'm mean
Unless I'm drunk
I said I'm only nice when I'm drunk
And I'm not drunk often enough

And if I hadn't left you
I'd probably still hate the sunset
I'd hate watching you get dressed and ready in the mornings for school
And if I hadn't left you
I'd probably still hate me
For thinking someone like you could break me and make me feel a fool

Baby, I'm mean
Unless I'm drunk
Said I'm only nice when I'm drunk
And I'm not drunk often enough
Oh baby, I'm mean
Unless I think that I'm dying
I think I'm dying all of the time
I think that I'll call
And fuck it all

And if I wasn't such an asshole
I would make a conversation
I would ask you how your day went
Like I give a fuck about it
And if I wasn't such an asshole
I would answer all your phone calls
I'd reply to all your letters and tell you how much you really mean
But you don't

Oh baby, I'm mean
Unless I think that I'm dying
I think that I'm dying all of the time
I think that I'll call
And fuck it all