Malaise

The night grows old beckoning this indifference
Suffering an overdosed feeling of resentment
Like a needle filed with grieving rage
A supplement of synthetic wisdom rising from the grave

To breech the barrier of a thousand words I so adamantly spoke
Those vows were the threads that stitched this heart together
The hymns of defeat echo through my nervous system
The choir chants as I fall to my knees

This isn't what I wanted
This isn't how it was suppose to be
This oath I betrayed has left a cold that lingers
Numbing these frail bones

Like an infectious scab my wounds cease to heal
My livelihood is the currency for these cheap thrills
My pockets are empty
I've sold my sensibility to keep these withdrawals at bay
Pawning my ambition for a solace that never stays