When One Door Close, Another Open

He once told me that
If I was on his side
I was safe
But at the first moment
He shot me in the back
And my spine screamed

I see spirals in my white mind
The birds sing a melody I know all too well
It's time for my final judgment
Probably everyone who loves me will be there
They'll see me cry and scream
Because all my mistakes are unforgivable

Why did I trust him with all my soul?
Why did I give him my wings to take care of?
Why did I let him penetrate my mind?

I sat where great men once sat
Some abused, others killed
And what did I do? What could I have done to be where they were?
Perhaps I gave my life, my heart
And, for a brief moment, I had a damn hope

The moment I knew how long I'd be in the cage
My eyes went white for something I couldn't see
I beg forgiveness from everyone I've ever hurt
You're no match for the people who hurt me
After all, it's you

Why did I trust them knowing that everything was falling apart?
Why does everything I touch turn to ash?
Why, when everything was on fire, were they still standing?

My mother used to say when I was a little dreamer
That lives are like doors
Because when one door close, another open

Now my life had closed the door
Who would have the courage to open another one?
When I'm still cold on an autopsy table

Why did I give them my life?
Why do I still feel pain in the end?
Why am I crying over all this shit?

I've learned that when one door close, another open
I've lived through it, maybe I'll be happy
In the end, in the end, in the end

You know you've hurt someone
When you're still okay and the other person is at rock bottom
Maybe, in the end, I'm the traitor in this story