tired of healing

Exhausted
And embarrassed of the way
I process
Everything
It hurts to keep it in
But no one understands

I won't fight it
I'm just tired of healing
I won't fight it
I'm just tired of healing
And feeling
Like I never meant anything

Surrendered
The secrets meant to keep us
Forever if we tried
In September
I laid it all to rest
But no one understands
The blonde and blue I had

I won't fight it
I'm just tired of healing
I won't fight it
I'm just tired of healing

I won't fight it
I'm just tired of healing
I won't fight it
I'm just tired of healing
And feeling
Like I never meant anything

Did I ever mean anything