twenty/eight

I don't want to keep fighting
I don't want to wish for the best
We all know what's coming
Been 28 years of this
Waiting for yet another relapse
Something else I can't ever fix
Become a whole different person
Someone no one will ever miss
I don't fucking want this

I don't want to keep fighting
I don't want to wish for the best
We all know what's coming
Been 28 years of this

I don't want this
But I still have shit to do
When I know it's over
I'm not rotting in some fucking room
Repeat the process to stay alive
Watch the hope inside of you die
Feel the medication burn your insides
And tell everyone you're fine

This wasn't my choice
But it's all that I know
You suffer right through
And you put on a show
Don't worry about me
Don't worry about it
If I'm dying in my youth
Well, I can't really stop it

What is the price of life
When it just turns to survival
Losing everything you loved
Putting yourself on idle

When can you say that you can't take anymore?
Seeing yourself through the mirror
Watching as your body deplores

Why the need for so much gruesome graphic violence?
Why not let us–
Because it's so much fun, Jan

How much until you break?
Skin and bone, exposing your ribcage
Another hospital stay
Yeah, oh
How much until you break?
Fuck

I don't want to keep fighting
I don't want to wish for the best
We all know what's coming
Been 28 years of this
Waiting for yet another relapse
Something I'll never be able to fix
Become a whole different person
And have everyone think of me less

I don't wanna live in a world
Where everything I loved has died
I don't wanna live in a world
Where I'm just struggling to survive

Life's not living in a hospital bed
I'm not living when I'm just sick and depressed
Life's a bitch
Isn't it?