A Shoggoth on The Roof

A Shoggoth on the roof
Sounds crazy - no, certifiably insane!
But here in our little village of Arkham, Massachusetts, you might say every one of us has a Shoggoth on the roof
And I'm not speaking of metaphorically!
It's not easy having a malevolent shapeless monster like that, hanging over your head, but there it is!
Arkham is the home of many strange things
A big monster like that on such a pointy roof
You may ask: How does it stay up there, if it's so difficult?
That, I can tell you in one word: Tentacles!

Tentacles, tentacles! Tentacles!
Tentacles, tentacles! Tentacles!

Here in Arkham, tentacles get into everything eventually
Changeless, legend-haunted Arkham
Where the clustering gamble-roofs sway and sag over attics
Where witches hid from the king's men in the dark olden days of the province

Well, the king is gone, but the witches are still here and the cultists
And the monsters, and regular folks just trying not to notice
We try not to think about the scariest one of all
The gigantic half-dragon, half-octopus half humanoid Great Old One himself
Cthulhu, waiting to return from his city beneath the sea!

Who day and night must slumber in R'lyeh
Wave his tentacles having nasty dreams?
And who has the might as master of R'lyeh
To drive humanity insane?

Cthulhu, Cthulhu! Tentacles!
Cthulhu, Cthulhu! Tentacles!

Who must bow in mirrors, scrape and slave all day
To raise R'lyeh, Cthulhu's way?
Who must live in ignorance until the day
They find they've read too many nasty books?

The cultists, the cultists! Tentacles!
The cultists, the cultists! Tentacles!

At nine I started growing gills and swimming in the sea
And soon I'll know the wonder of the sunken city

The Deep Ones, The Deep Ones! Tentacles!
The Deep Ones, The Deep Ones! Tentacles!

Who's always last to know, who fills the air with cries?
Whose sanity is blasted, and then who usually dies?

The victims! The victims! Tentacles!
The victims! The victims! Tentacles!

We have the shoe factory, and the brick works
And the wonderful insane asylum we're all mighty proud of
But the heart of the town is it's Miskatonik University
It may not be the biggest school in New England
But there's no finer place in the world to study medieval metaphysics

It's my honour to be its head librarian
You'll see many folks from the university as you walk through Arkham's streets
And in our small community, we've always had some special types as well

For instance, Herbert West, the mad scientist

Those small-minded doctors have needlessly and irrationally delayed my supremely great work!
The reanimation of dead tissue is within my grasp!

Herbert, your perverse experiments are the vagary of a demented maniac and cannot be allowed to continue
Your request for the use of human cadavres is completely denied!

I warn you, doctor Halsey, you will regret this decision

And Randolph Carter, the writer with the weird dreams, who keeps showing up everywhere

I repeat to you, gentlemen, that your inquisition is fruitless
Question me forever, if you want
I do not know what has become of Harley Warren!

Mr. Carter, there's a telephone call for you

And Obed Marsh, the cursed old man from nearby Innsmouth

What are ye lookin' at? What, ye think I'm ugly?
Is that it?! I'll be showin' ye ugly!

Then there are others in Arkham
Some of them live here, some of them just visit
The head of a local cult, some kind of horrible monster
I do not even want to know what that is
We normal folk just look the other way and try not to lose our minds
And among ourselves, we get along just fine

Well, of course there are some who think that the magical Elder Sign
Is shaped like a star, and some who think it's shaped more like a tree
But that's all settled now
Now, we just try to

It's shaped like a star with a little flame inside it!

It's shaped like a tree - it's got branches coming off it!

I'm telling you, it's a star!

Use the star one and you'll be fighting off the Old Ones with your bare hands! It's a tree!

Star! Tree! Star! Tree! Star! Tree! Star! Tree!

Tentacles
Like I said, you cannot live in Arkham without coping with the Shoggoth on the roof